Another one bites the dust

Maybe that isn’t the best title for this post but it probably caught your attention so keep reading even though this isn’t all that exciting.

I sent in my resignation/2 week notice today to end my really part-time, 1 day per weekend job screening the newborn babies for hearing loss.

Yep, that means in 2 weeks I will be down to the one job that I originally intended to be doing solely when I left dentistry and that is taking care of Miss G.

But why you may ask–

Was the job awful? No it wasn’t. It was an independent position working in an environment that I love with babies. How could that be awful.

Won’t you miss the paycheck? Again no. This is a low paying job and that’s not why I took it in the first place. To be blunt, I often surmised that I was spending more in gas money to commute to and from this job than I was making every 2 weeks. Does that illustrate just how part-time and low paying it is? It was interesting and easy and mindless and something to do. 

Okay, so why? I liked the job but I didn’t love the job enough to continue giving up my Saturday afternoons/evenings. I never intended to replace one job with three. Now I can be back to one.

You never do anything in the evening anyway? Well, I wouldn’t say never, but you’re right I am not a gad about town sort of gal who spends her weekends cavorting from frivolous encounter, to bar, to whatever one does on Saturday evenings. It is however summer and I would enjoy doing nothing more than sitting on my deck on a lazy summer Saturday evening with a great book and some nice cool adult beverage, or seeing some theater, or a concert every so often. 

I bet you will be bored sooner than you think won’t you? Maybe but with only 3 classes left before my final degree seminar, a wedding coming just around the corner, and an energetic Miss G to care for I doubt that I’ll be that bored, and if I am, there’s always places to volunteer, which would be great.

But isn’t that like going right back to another “job” ? I don’t look at volunteering that way. When you volunteer it can be on a very limited basis depending on what you volunteer for. There are tons of possibilities if I really want to feel involved in something more. For now I just want to enjoy Miss G and my summer and the upcoming wedding.

So I can go over to Facebook and change my status once more and look forward to putting away, for the final time, my scrubs after 20+ years of wearing those things often more than my own clothing, turn in my ID badge and my parking sticker and walk away from this job happy and knowing that I can just be grandma for now. That’s more than enough.

 

Happy Anniversary apparently to me

In classic Dana Carver fashion, dressed in drag and portraying the Church Lady from long ago Saturday Night Live comedy:

Apparently, in a cute little memo from the WordPress admins in my drop down comment area I have been wished a Happy Anniversary today, exactly 3 years after creating my first blog here on WordPress.

I do not mean to take this lightly, and truly appreciate whomever is logging the hours keeping statistics that allow these wishes to be sent my way, although I highly suspect that the logger of stats is some inhuman database, I acknowledge the accomplishment gratefully.

In other news the downtrodden me who whined and whimpered yesterday has had a remarkable comeback and a relatively pain-free day.

In the middle of my posting yesterday I did purchase a new pillow for my bed. I hesitate to give that action all the credit for the change in pain levels, but I will admit that it was much easier to get comfortable last night on the new pillow. Trust me, there are still and have been all day, twinges if I don’t consciously and carefully think about what I am doing, but the day went so well that I cranked out tons on a Sociology paper.

That my friends is all I have to say tonight as it’s time to move again into a new activity and stretch out the muscles once more.

Happy evening to all!

Body betrayal once more

It’s a whining post again so be warned.

I am getting really, really sick of this arthritis.

I could probably get along with out my feet so getting those removed would likely take care of the arthritis in the ankles.

The hands and wrists…well that does limit my abilities quite a bit if I let those go, and actually they haven’t been too bad lately. The fingers are doing well, the thumbs only ache on occasion and the wrists are usually managed with supports and splints when they are sore. It’s that horrendous grating of the bones in my wrist as I turn them though that seems sort of off-putting. I always wonder if other people can hear it and if it sounds as bad to them as it does to me. I’m waiting for the day when I make the twisting movement and my wrist gets stuck, bone on bone like my thumb used to do. That might freak a few people out.

Right now the biggest issue is my neck. I don’t really remember the last good day I had with my neck.

It doesn’t help that I have been kicking myself lately for not having the smarts to recognize that the neck is where all this started so many years ago. Probably well over 10 years ago actually. I can’t help but ask myself (and I know it doesn’t matter now anyway) that if I would have realized that the problems I was having way back then were arthritis related would anything be different now.

I would guess the answer to that is no, as I still have issues making myself not do the things that aggravate all these areas.

I almost want to say that I can live with the other areas pretty well (some days), but not the neck. The best way to describe it is to try to picture something heavy, maybe a bowling ball, sitting on top of some plastic rings that have jello between them. That damn bowling ball just keeps pressing down, more and more (because of gravity ya know) on those rings and that jello keeps getting squished out from between the rings. Pretty soon some one decides to turn the bowling ball and you hear this awful grating, popping sound coming from those rings. Besides that, the ball, while only maybe weighing about 3 lbs. feels like it weighs about 100 lbs.

The real downside to this one is that I know taking my head off wouldn’t result in a good outcome. I’m pretty sure my functional days would be over.

I’m tired of trying to find chairs to sit in that don’t aggravate the compression. Tired of trying to hold my neck in a sort of chin down and tucked position that stretches out the vertebra. Try studying, reading, researching, typing and driving like that. Oh, and having to wear bifocal glasses and keeping your head in that position can make it challenging to see things as well.

I’m tired of bending over and knowing that if I extend my head to look at anything below knee level those stupid discs of jello are going to get squished and irritated and the grating is going to start.

I am really tired of going to bed at 8pm just because, by that time,  I can’t sit, stand, bend or do anything that involves holding my head up.

This morning I did look up some exercises for neck arthritis. I have actually been doing some of the things recommended and didn’t realize it, but I was able to add a few more to try.

Another little interesting thing I noticed this morning. I have always known that I have had a bit of a curve in my spine. Someone told me this long ago (a chiropractor I think) that one hip was slightly higher making one foot slightly shorter. Just before getting into the shower I passed the mirror. Catching a glimpse I turned full forward and it was amazing just how evident it is that the curve has changed. My right shoulder is significantly higher than my left. Seriously, if you saw my upper half without clothes you would notice it.

An interesting aside to this little development that again, maybe should have been a clue. I have now, for the longest time, had issues keeping my left bra strap up. It always wants to slide down off my shoulder, no matter how much I cinch the thing tighter.

Anyway, I am going on the assumption that spine issues also equal neck issues also equal worse arthritis issues.

What the hell! Is there going to be any place on or in my body soon that functions normally or that functions at all?

And you know what I hate most about all this? The fact that if you look at me, just sitting around or standing nonchalantly, you would never know all this was going on.

I am almost 54, menopausal (meaning age spottish, wrinkly, thick middle) but I look “normal.” I don’t like having a physical condition that is hidden because:

No one really believes that you have issues, are in pain, can’t function, whatever.

There are days when I want to wear a sign around my neck that says:

No, I am not okay. I can’t ____________(fill in the appropriate action here). I have arthritis.

I want to say this to people I don’t know. I want to say this to people I do know.

I don’t want to curl up in a ball and degenerate even more but there are days when much more than that is just too much.

And that makes me feel guilty. Remember that “thick middle” I mentioned above?

I want desperately to exercise now that I actually have time to do so (which used to be my biggest excuse). I love walking and being out-of-doors and I know that a little is better than none. But it seems like when my ankles are better the neck isn’t, and when the neck is tolerable it hurts to put shoes on and move my feet.

Alright, I’m done. I’ve bitched enough, my neck hurts and it’s time to go curl into a ball in a corner

 

 

Obligations

What do you do when you read something in a blog that is disturbing, possibly harmful (definitely harmful if carried out) and the reading was only a passing moment in time; a happenstance, an accident?

Your moral conscience kicks in, but the reality is you are limited. What can you really do?

I happened upon a blog yesterday, found because that person found one of my blogs and decided to click the like button, or follow it or some such thing. When I get one of those new bloggers names in my list I usually (always) click on it. Some are legit, meaning real people with real lives. Some are an odd mix of person/business (that I don’t care about and don’t want to be followed by), and some are just crap that I block. I don’t follow many people. I’m pretty selective and I just don’t have the time to read a gazillion blogs. If you remember I cleaned social media house a while back and downsized.

I am however grateful and honored when other bloggers stop by, like, comment and follow. I figure that I must have hit upon something that they find interesting, even if it turns out to be only one blog post.

So I have this new blogger name pop up, I click on their blog and as I scroll through I quickly begin to develop an image of someone who is troubled by their life. Troubled is not an adequate word. They are, like many of us who putter around these pages, trying to make some sense of the world, life and their place in it. This is a young person who should be looking forward to looking ahead. Adulthood looms and so does life and chance and choices.

This person is articulate and writes of trauma many of us won’t ever see in our lives. There are glimpses of future plans, motivation to move on. It is when reading further that the disturbing picture emerges of someone who apparently has little plan to follow through on the future. This person speaks clearly of a future, not too long from now, that does not include them. None of the writing is maudlin. It is clear, honest, and what life is and what defines this bloggers world.

I am not the only person who has read these words. I did not comment, but others have. Some have ignored what seems obvious to me choosing to comment blandly on minor points. Others have seen the bigger picture and believed and questioned and tried to connect as much as possible through this medium.

That friends brings me to obligations. The ones associated with this place on the internet that we reveal our self, or make up our self, or redefine our self, or do whatever it is we do here.

Human emotion, empathy and concern drives a part of me to reach out to this nameless, faceless being who sits in front of a computer somewhere and describes a life that apparently isn’t worth continuing for much longer. I’ve asked myself what, if any, obligation as a human being I have. What, if anything, I should do.

I have to believe that this is not the only blog, blogger out there writing these words and revealing a life in this way. This person isn’t the first and won’t be the last. My reality tells me that there is nothing that I can or should do that will change this. Or is there. What was the reason this person decided to announce their interest in my blog? It’s not that difficult to remain mostly hidden around here and it’s certainly possible to read a number of blogs and not reveal yourself through a like or a follow or a comment. So I sit here and try to play amateur psychologist (because that’s sort of like sociology, right?) and wonder.

What would you do? Have you encountered this situation as you meander through this land of bloggers? What has your conscience told you to do?

 

 

Look what I can do!

Here’s what you do the day after you turn 9 months old:

 

I suggested to her mom that she might be indicating that it’s time to give up diapers. 

What do you think

Transformations

But first! I took these shots a few weeks ago in the early morning and forgot to post them.

Our resident raccoon family arriving for breakfast:

 

 

There ARE NOT five in total, only three as shown in the first picture but they always stop by the water bowl when they finish their meal. I usually find it overturned when I get up.

So the purpose of my post was to show some pictures of the refurbished yard. I cannot begin to tell everyone just how happy it makes me to look outside and not see weeds.

This is a small patch of what our entire lawn looks like right now. It was thatched, aerated, and re-seeded so our hope is that the recurring rain doesn’t wash all the new seed away. It looks doubly horrible because I was standing in the shade to take this picture. We actually have a lot more of our old grass left. This makes it look like a sad, scruffy field.

 

A few planters along my fence line; the area behind my deck that used to be a tangled mess of dead vines from the trumpet vine above which you can’t see, and three laurel bush stumps; and one section of the back of the house with a vine maple (which needs a trim) as well as roses and hydrangea which blooms later.

 

 

This is my side yard. It has a mix of coral bells, daisy and hostas. The hostas look gorgeous this year. I started these about 3 years ago from tiny little starts.

 

My hedge that actually looks like a hedge now. This thing completely died out a few years ago and we never thought it would come back but apparently it was hardier than we realized. It would grow forever and it is pretty is spring with tiny pink flowers.

 

The next series is my front entry planter with the cat basking. Most of what you see here and in the next photo were transplanted from the opposing planter (third photo) that is now devoid of grass and probably won’t be planted with anything this summer; the rhododendrons in front that are way too big but can’t be trimmed until later and another vine maple that is out of hand,

 

 

 

 

We move on now to the juxtaposition of weeded beds as compared to the neighbors adjoining space: they are young, they are probably living very frugally but an effort would be appreciated. The big space in front of the rhododendron is where we had a large tree come down during the ice storm. There’s a stump buried under the bark and it’s going to stay there.

 

And finally the one unfinished bed. This is where the noxious weed had taken over. I got a few plantings today and put them in, will probably get a few more over the weekend and then Alison is going to spread the rest of the bark for me. I am sticking will low maintenance plants out here, just some things that will grow only high enough to block the lovely view of all the utility boxes. Can you tell this subdivision was built in the early 1990′s.

 

It looks so sad now but these will all grow up in height to be between 4 feet in the back, 2-3 feet in the middle and the little ones are some more coral bells which spread easily over time and will mound with some color.

 

 

Anyway folks, there you have it, or at least what it is so far.

 

 

Let’s catch up shall we

It has been a busy month so far what with watching Miss Gisella so much more than I was just a few weeks ago. The transition and training phase is going well (I think) for my daughter as they are just about 2 weeks away from the opening of the new clinic. I still have no idea what sort of schedule she will have as it is really difficult for her to pin down the plans they have in that area.

I’ve been splitting my time between home and their house for daycare which allows me to get chores done around my own house and for Gisella and I to be outside when the weather is nice. That aspect of Washington ultimately means that spring = rain and so outside days are pretty few and far between. I get such joy from seeing her face each day though. Her daily greeting of a huge smile makes me smile from ear to ear.

I’m extremely happy that on Sunday the crew I hired to get my yard and lawn in shape will arrive and by the end of the day I will have a decent looking landscape again. All this rain has caused a weed explosion so they really have their work cut out for them.

Funny story related to this work. My neighbor and I share an area in our front yard just between our driveways. Originally the area was planted with photinia.

 

Yes, these flowering shrubs can get huge.  My original three however got some weird fungus or blight or some such disease and died. This is what the leaves looked like before they all fell off.

 

The neighbors photinia survived. It is doing so well in fact that it has lived through her chopping it down twice.

I cut mine down to stumps long ago and let my Vinca ground cover grow over what was left.

 

At one time someone occupying that same house had planted coleus in that area and I have for a long time seen what I believed to be that plant quickly encroaching into my Vinca. The plant has variegated green and white leaves and produces small yellow flowers. It also sends out creeping, vine-like tendrils that will take over really quickly.

Fast forward to a tweet by my son the other day referencing something called Yellow Archangel. I followed his link and realized that what I assumed to be something related to the coleus planted long ago was in fact the noxious weed Yellow Archangel.

This has overtaken my Vinca and I knew nothing about the fact that this is an invading weed.

Fortunately it will be gone on Sunday. I suppose the lesson learned here is never assume that anything growing wild in your garden is anything more than a weed. If you find out it’s a real plant, well then you’re lucky. If not, rip it out.

I could go out and take some before pictures of the various beds in all their wild weed glory but quick frankly it’s embarrassing to me that I have not been able to keep up with all this even though I know I have to stick with my attempts to curb physical activity that just plain hurts my body. I will try to share some photos once everything is looking nice, clean and barked.

By the way, that area mentioned above is going to be completely cleared and then replanted, but not with more noxious weed. I haven’t really decided what to put in there or if I should attempt it myself. I would love to, but my gut tells me that it would be smarter to have the yard crew come back with some nice plantings and I will just enjoy the end result.

Wow, that’s a lot of unintended plant talk, but it does make me happy to know that the yard will be looking better soon. I am going to have them come back on a regular basis for maintenance as well.

Quickly, in other exciting news, the double major daughter informed me today that she has an unpaid internship of sorts lined up for part of the summer with a company to the north of us who do land surveys, archaeology and historic preservation. You can read about them here. This was an unexpected surprise, but it sounds so great for her and her interests. They have a staff with wide-ranging specialties in both archaeology and geology so what could be better.

That’s quite enough for now. Have a lovely weekend everyone!