Hello, my name is Foolish

I also go by Silly, Simple, Bonkers, Absurd, Senseless, Fatuous, Laughable, Half-baked, Cockamamie, and perhaps even Dumb-ass. I prefer to use my nickname though-Daft.

My living room/formal dining room has three double sets of large windows. Those windows let in an amazing amount of light and were one of the things that attracted me to this home twenty-two years ago. I am speaking of the room that housed the large TV armoire and dining table which recently moved on to a new and welcoming home.

I’ve been re-arranging the small amount of furniture I have left and rather liking the fact that I have the opportunity to utilize spaces that previously were forbidden, such as the wall space along/under the stairs. For years I’ve wanted to place my small couch on that wall so that someone sitting on it could actually look OUT the front window rather than having their back to the outside view. I’ve moved my wine cabinet in preparation for the new computer desk that will take its place in what used to be the dining area. The husband is on his way out of the bedroom and will take up computer residence there. I have mixed emotions about this.

For the last few years, he and his aging computer system have been in our bedroom. They all were relegated there when I became a student, turned the extra downstairs bedroom into my ‘office’ and relocated that big table to the dining room. He is clinging to his old system of wires and more cords than I can count on two hands. He also has junk all over the desk, which is also old, and honestly, gross. Thus the new desk purchase which has drawers and doors to hide all the crap I don’t want to see. With our early morning cat issues, his earlier morning rising for work, his interest in being on the computer after 8 pm, (when I want/need to go to bed due to said early morning issues) it became clear that he and his stuff needed to leave our sleeping space.

All that aside, and the real point of this post, is that I had what can only be described as an epiphany during all the cleaning and moving and such.

Those wonderful, large windows have, literally since we moved here, been covered by light, ethereal, just slightly heavier than sheer, curtains. I never wanted to block out the light completely. I think that this area juxtaposes the darkness that comes with our kitchen/family room area and it’s overabundance of walls-without windows.

It’s been cold here. Not unusually cold. After all it is November. I have this theory though that this year, this cold, is something that I am noticing more than any previous year. I attribute my attention to the cold to my arthritis, and joints that protest loudly when they encounter cold. I also attribute my dislike of this cold weather to aging, specifically menopause. My hot flashes are virtually gone, my internal thermostat has reset, and I simply notice the cold more intensely now. I have no idea if there is merit to this idea, it just sounds plausible to me.

For the very first time I’ve been truly aware of just how much colder the front area of our house seems to be with those big windows and gauzy curtains. Twenty-two years to realize this. Let me say that again: twenty-two years. This fact should explain my affinity for the name change in my title. Our heating bills have never been reflective of, nor attributable to, tons of heat escaping through the lovely front room windows. I’m pinning this new awareness squarely onto myself and not onto an issue whereby we need to invest in all new windows. That chore can wait for new owners.

I did decide however, that it was time to retire the light, airy, window treatments and put up a more practical, thicker fashion. We now have a rich, chocolate-brown fabric panel at each window. During the day, with the curtains wide open and pushed back, my room is still light and airy and open. When the temps begin to dip, late in the afternoon though, I begin the lock down procedure. I begin to secure the new panels starting with the smaller side windows. The large front window panels stay open, especially if we have a sunny afternoon. I can’t stand to close the room off completely until I have to, but as dusk turns to night the room is transported to become a snug, cozy cave.

I think that I’m the only one who has noticed a difference, and I noticed it right away. Don’t tell anyone, but I actually like the look of the room in the evening now. It seems homey, comfortable, welcoming.

I find myself liking the room, wanting to use it more, especially in the evening for reading.

Maybe the husband will have to go to the garage.

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One thought on “Hello, my name is Foolish”

  1. Always something reinvigorating about changing how we arrange the spaces we live in. For me, changing the literal space helps reset my mental space as well. Glad you will be able to sit and look out the window, and that the room is still inviting late in the day–22yrs, seems about time! 🙂

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