Looking back on 2014…maybe not so much

We have just a few days left of this year and many bloggers have decided to write some sort of retrospective of the past year in blogging, and/or in life.

Me, not so much.

I don’t go in for resolutions and plans as each new year dawns. I simply don’t keep up with those plans, although I would have good intentions if I did make a resolution or two. I might follow through for a time, especially if I published those goals in a public format such as this, but I know, eventually, the plans would fizzle away either out of boredom or life changes, or just being not very well thought out to begin with.

I think that I need big plans, life changing goals, bucket list sorts of resolutions, to invest myself enough into follow through. Like college. Once I started I knew that I couldn’t stop. Or like my decision to drop some weight and improve my health last year. The fanaticism is gone, but the overall plan is still going mostly strong.

Everyone always wants things like happiness for their families in the form of good jobs, financial stability, finding love and partnership…all those are covered (mostly) for my family at this point. Daughter Alison is still up in the air on a few of those areas, but I don’t spend sleepless nights worrying. She’s only 21 and the right path will appear for her because she’s smart and capable and when truly needed, driven.

I’d really rather not speculate on what 2015 might hold for me. I can dream and wish and hope, and then maybe be disappointed in the end and you all would find me writing some sad blog post about this time next year. I also don’t really want to look to the past and recap my 2014. Honestly, I do that enough as it is-in my head-as I wonder why and how and when and what if. I know it does me no good, but turning off the voices in my head is harder than it might seem because I can’t come to a simple resolution to all those questions. So I keep asking, and getting answers that I dismiss, even though I ultimately know the answers are sound.

2014 held very happy moments, okay moments, sad moments, and frustratingly angry moments. Real life folks, without a lot of fanfare or drama. So we shall see what comes along in the new year and maybe just prior to 2016 I will be writing a ‘this was my life in 2015’ post. Probably not though.

Here’s to life altering events in 2015, if you want them, and if not, then here’s to another year of just plain old living.

 

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