Wine, and why I hide it.

My last post described two of my favorite things: organizing and tossing. I also gave a cryptic reference to hidden wine. I will explain. It may come across as selfish. It is however, the reality of life here.

I may have a small glass of wine once or twice a week. I may not even think about wine for weeks or months. Then a glass sounds good with dinner, especially a hearty vegetarian shepherds pie, or a small snack of cheese and fruit.

I don’t buy expensive wine. I think that I may have splurged once or twice on a bottle costing $12 or $15. My tastes run to nice red blends, or Malbecs, or Carmenere’s, and sometimes, for a light refreshing and slightly sparkly change, I like a Vinho Verde. All of these usually cost between $8 and $10 per bottle. Definitely not a huge expense, but one that I enjoy being able to savior when the mood strikes.

My point: one bottle of wine could last me for months. However, if I don’t make a point of placing the bottle that I want to drink in a place clearly set apart from a bottle my spouse might purchase, I will be lucky to get just one glass before it disappears.

One ‘regular size’ bottle of wine, being consumed by my spouse, will be gone within two days – tops. Like a number of things in his life connected with food and an inability to control and regulate himself, poverty and his psychological need to consume as much as possible for fear that he will never have enough has trapped him in a cycle that rules his life.

Honestly, I became tired, frustrated and angry so many times over. Not just with the odd bottle of wine. This focus on wine is just my way of providing an example of the many items, all food related, that are consumed at lightening speed in our home.

A block of cheese will disappear. When I used to buy them, the occasional bag of chips, 3/4 full when I went to bed, would be in the trash in the morning. You don’t need a laundry list. I assume you get the idea. Over the years, because trying to talk about this, or change this, or actually go to the extreme of truly hiding food and drink in other rooms just to have the opportunity to have a few bites/drinks, either was ineffective or ridiculous, we simply turned to separate shopping between the two of us.

When I became mostly vegetarian, and he went crazy on smoking meat and BBQ, it wasn’t that difficult to make the transition to ‘you shop for your food and I’ll shop for mine. I do the mutual food shopping as well, but it is the generic stuff – bread, condiments, fruit, etc., all the things that he seems to be able to manage in a normal manner.

So, we live with this odd, unspoken routine. It works, most of the time, and most of the time he has respected the items I clearly have set aside. For his part, he doesn’t have to worry. I have no interest in his food.


6 thoughts on “Wine, and why I hide it.”

    1. If I’m being honest, no. The only time there was really any ‘oversight’ if you will was during his military career as he had to remain under a specific weight. It is an endless cycle here John – odd, ineffectual diets for a while, exercise for a while, make vague statements of purpose and intent, continue to ignore the real issues – then repeat. He clearly doesn’t know how, and has really never been open to suggests or changes I have made in my own diet/routine. I don’t really think that someone can make long-lasting changes if they are unwilling to deal with underlying causes, and he is not. Since the arrival of grandchildren, I have hoped that something may spark a revelation, give a reason to try, but I see the patterns simply continue…

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Hummm… your words are convicting. (I too have been known to polish off a 1/2 of bag of chips in the middle of the night/ same thing goes for the cheese, etc.) Can’t say I’ve ever really tried to think through the “why” behind other than when the munchies strike in the middle of the night, they do (and I’m not all smoked up on weed when this happens) 🙂 Anyway, I’m glad you have been able to figure out how to keep a little wine in a private stash..You’re touching on the area of boundaries here…it is SO important, regardless of whether we are married, single, young, older, etc. to keep our individuality and personal space.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am as guilty as anyone in the overindulging department…at times. We all do it, however this has always been a thing and I can only attribute it as being connected with so many other food issues that have been ignored. I love that you found the word ‘boundaries’ as that is exactly what this is. I am all for sharing, but not to the exclusion of others when it’s clear that their are emotional issues not being dealt with.

      Liked by 1 person

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