My last post described two of my favorite things: organizing and tossing. I also gave a cryptic reference to hidden wine. I will explain. It may come across as selfish. It is however, the reality of life here.
I may have a small glass of wine once or twice a week. I may not even think about wine for weeks or months. Then a glass sounds good with dinner, especially a hearty vegetarian shepherds pie, or a small snack of cheese and fruit.
I don’t buy expensive wine. I think that I may have splurged once or twice on a bottle costing $12 or $15. My tastes run to nice red blends, or Malbecs, or Carmenere’s, and sometimes, for a light refreshing and slightly sparkly change, I like a Vinho Verde. All of these usually cost between $8 and $10 per bottle. Definitely not a huge expense, but one that I enjoy being able to savior when the mood strikes.
My point: one bottle of wine could last me for months. However, if I don’t make a point of placing the bottle that I want to drink in a place clearly set apart from a bottle my spouse might purchase, I will be lucky to get just one glass before it disappears.
One ‘regular size’ bottle of wine, being consumed by my spouse, will be gone within two days – tops. Like a number of things in his life connected with food and an inability to control and regulate himself, poverty and his psychological need to consume as much as possible for fear that he will never have enough has trapped him in a cycle that rules his life.
Honestly, I became tired, frustrated and angry so many times over. Not just with the odd bottle of wine. This focus on wine is just my way of providing an example of the many items, all food related, that are consumed at lightening speed in our home.
A block of cheese will disappear. When I used to buy them, the occasional bag of chips, 3/4 full when I went to bed, would be in the trash in the morning. You don’t need a laundry list. I assume you get the idea. Over the years, because trying to talk about this, or change this, or actually go to the extreme of truly hiding food and drink in other rooms just to have the opportunity to have a few bites/drinks, either was ineffective or ridiculous, we simply turned to separate shopping between the two of us.
When I became mostly vegetarian, and he went crazy on smoking meat and BBQ, it wasn’t that difficult to make the transition to ‘you shop for your food and I’ll shop for mine. I do the mutual food shopping as well, but it is the generic stuff – bread, condiments, fruit, etc., all the things that he seems to be able to manage in a normal manner.
So, we live with this odd, unspoken routine. It works, most of the time, and most of the time he has respected the items I clearly have set aside. For his part, he doesn’t have to worry. I have no interest in his food.