Hearing Isn’t Listening

“Well, that’s what I heard. That IS what I heard.”

The words clearly accused,

clearly tried to justify decisions made,

clearly were attempts to put me in my place.

“What you think you heard is wrong. What I said is…”

“I heard that you wanted this, the one that didn’t have the check mark.”

Once more, what I said was “I did not want that one. It was not checked because it was the only one that I chose to remove. The others, with the check marks were your decision.”

That is what I said…many times during the conversation.

It’s seems so very easy to listen to bits and pieces, to pick and choose, and then -in the end- when the results are no more satisfactory than what all those words were trying to change, it is so very easy to blame when the right thing to do is simply to move forward and fix the mistake.

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5 thoughts on “Hearing Isn’t Listening”

  1. I remember in college being taught that there were four kinds of listening: for information, for inspiration, for empathy, for entertainment. Like Alice mentioned above, I think that many times people who treat conversation as conflict only listen for entertainment– theirs, to be exact. Most frustrating. As you’ve stated so nicely here.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree Ally. I had a small revelation with this post as well, because those opening words have been heard by me before. Control and power come into play here as well 😦

      Like

  2. One of the most useful concepts about listening, imo, is the distinction between “listening to understand” and “listening to respond.” Listening to respond is almost(?) always engaged in by people who treat conversation as conflict, as something to be won or lost. Which really sucks. And guarantees that everyone loses, in the end.

    Feeling your pain, friend, as well as your annoyance…

    Liked by 3 people

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