Where to begin…

How about this:

If everything continues on the path that my feet have been walking over the last month or so I believe that I will officially be a single woman by August.

I need to say that again.

I have every hope, barring any unforeseen disasters, that my divorce will be complete before the summer is over.

I move ahead each day now with that goal, that magical final end in my sights, and it is amazing how that knowledge has changed my outlook about so many things.

For so long I dreaded the telling, ran from the conversation that had to happen between my spouse and myself. When the day came, and his reaction was clean and simple and as straightforward as one could wish for, I saw the tightly closed door finally begin to open.

When, after just a few short and specific conversations, we had agreed to every aspect of ending our marriage, the door opened a bit more.

There have been hiccups, because life and dreams and goals don’t always happen in a straight, uninterrupted line, but the irony of those hiccups is that they have been caused by others. My husband and I both see a clear road out of this marriage and we both have the same goal.

Our agreement and movement and determination aren’t really a surprise. I know that he was miserable. I also know that, while I spent 34 years attempting to disregard the clear knowledge that we are two totally different people, he can’t be characterized as a monster. Irony shows me that it is possible, when we find a topic that we both agree on, that we can actually move forward and get the job done. Irony is also trying very hard not to push the fact that the agreeable topic turns out to be ending our marriage…

While there’s a good deal more to tell, I will save some of the stories for another time.

It just seemed important to say (write) these words, to acknowledge this fact, and to watch the door swing wider each day.

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14 thoughts on “Where to begin…”

  1. So pleased to hear that everything is going smoothly for you. Anyone who has been in a similar situation will know how stressful it can be. To get through a break-up without any additional drama is a huge achievement. Good luck to you, Deb.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have been worried but did not want to pry. Thank goodness you were able to get through that conversation and are having an amicable divorce. I am so relieved. I hope it remains that way to the finish!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! You know well the impact of even just one small change in your life, and what it brings. It is pretty grand to actually WANT to look ahead when you know that every dark thing is running fast and furious away from, rather than toward you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I have been wondering how you and things were doing. It does sound like for such a painful conversation, things went way better than I would have imagined. Appreciate the update Deb ! DM

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sure you’ve been there DM…we anticipate the worst and are then surprised when things in general turn out so much easier and simpler than expected. Still work to do, but nothing like so many divorces often end up in heated issues and worse.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. [heavy sigh of relief]
    I was wondering about you earlier this morning – saw your profile picture on a post and thought to myself, Hmmm, wonder how Deb’s making out with the divorce thing?”

    Thanks for the update. I’m very happy for you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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