Test anxiety

I got to pee in a cup today. A very controlled, very precise, very directed drug screen was called for by this new employer. Today’s event was just one of a number of changes that this company has implemented since I worked for them four or five years ago.

I’ve never had to have a drug screen for a job before.

I was asked to lock up my purse and check my pockets so that nothing untoward would enter the restroom with me.

I got to pick out my very own collection cup and watch while the technician showed me that it was completely sealed.

I was asked to wash my hands.

I was instructed on exactly how much of the specimen I was to provide. I didn’t ask what the consequences would be if I couldn’t muster the required amount. Drinking copious amounts of water 30 minutes prior to the donation took care of any issues with that. I was relieved in more ways than one.

I was told firmly -twice- not to flush or to wash my hands after collection. Only after I handed off the cup could I wash my hands.

Did you know that they actually check the temperature of the donation?

And what are the very vivid blue drops that they place into the toilet water?

I had to watch each step as the specimen was processed and at times even initial certain parts of the procedures.  Only when the donation was finally sealed in a plastic bag and initialed by me did I get my ID back and the key to the box to unlock and free my purse.

It wasn’t until I was walking out of the office that I realized I had no memory of the technician wearing gloves when she took the specimen cup from me. No memory of her washing her hands after she went into the restroom to flush for me. Nor do I have any memory of her washing her own hands throughout the rest of the processing.



10 thoughts on “Test anxiety”

    1. I had to be rather short and precise with this post Maggie…I figured most readers wouldn’t really want the intimate details 😉 and actually the whole process was very clinical, except for the non-handwashing technician 😦


    1. I can understand the need as I will be in a hospital setting, around newborns… although you do have to wonder about the actual regular staff members who have access to so many drugs on a daily basis. I wonder if/when random drug testing comes into the picture for them…

      Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s really surprised me that so much has changed in just a few years since my last encounter with this company. I always felt they were somewhat lax before in their vary casual approach to this sort of thing given who, what, and where I will be working…has to make you wonder who or what has motivated them to tighten up their screening process.

      Liked by 2 people

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