Hearing Isn’t Listening

“Well, that’s what I heard. That IS what I heard.”

The words clearly accused,

clearly tried to justify decisions made,

clearly were attempts to put me in my place.

“What you think you heard is wrong. What I said is…”

“I heard that you wanted this, the one that didn’t have the check mark.”

Once more, what I said was “I did not want that one. It was not checked because it was the only one that I chose to remove. The others, with the check marks were your decision.”

That is what I said…many times during the conversation.

It’s seems so very easy to listen to bits and pieces, to pick and choose, and then -in the end- when the results are no more satisfactory than what all those words were trying to change, it is so very easy to blame when the right thing to do is simply to move forward and fix the mistake.

Share Your World 2016 – Week 14

Share Your World Week 14

If you could hire someone to help you, would it be with cleaning, cooking, or yard work? I truly want it all on this one, but I’ll concede the cooking and just settle for a housekeeper and a gardener. The housekeeper must do windows and scrub the shower. The gardener absolutely must kill off the moss carpet in my grass which will be an annual event.

What makes you laugh the most? Lately, politics…Donald Trump mostly. If I don’t laugh I just get angry at all the stupidity. In the real world, my granddaughters can always make me laugh.

What was your favorite food when you were a child? French fries. Homemade spaghetti. Potato salad. My dad’s birthday homemade coconut cream pie.

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http://www.kraftrecipes.com    

We never got the toasted coconut topping (my mom wasn’t that fancy)  but it always had that graham cracker crust and real whipped cream.

List at least five favorite flowers or plants. Do people really have that many favorites when it comes to botanical items? Geez, I suppose I like the looks of a birch tree, and I’m partial to hydrangeas and a nice old-fashioned English cottage garden filled with wildflowers of all sorts and flowering vines and hedges with little hiding places.

cottage-english-garden-design-with-perennials-700x539.jpg
http://www.ultimatechristoph.com

And look, I think that’s my housekeeper up there on the ladder, doing the outside of the windows. She’s getting a raise for sure.

Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?  I am grateful that with so much help from the daughter my flower beds are actually weed free and presentable. Plus we have some nice new additions to the front entry planter that should remain easy care and colorful into the future.

We have predictions of temps reaching 74 degrees in a few days. The cat and I are both excited about that. Afternoon naps in the sun are the best.

Share Your World 2016 Week 13

Share Your World Week 13

I literally just set down to write a nondescript post about nothing and realized that I hadn’t posted for Share Your World this week. In fact, I didn’t even remember to check for it. Apparently my brain turned off on Monday and just now switched back on.

Are you left or right handed?  I am fully right handed, couldn’t use my left to save my life. Nor would I be very effective if I found myself needing to use my toes. Actually, the reality is that most of these digits are so oddly misshapen with arthritis that writing with my right hand is beginning to look a lot like I am writing with my toes.

If you had only one TV, would you prefer the TV in the living room or another room? We do only have one TV at the moment and it is in what I refer to as my family room. The only rooms I prefer not to have a TV in are the bedroom and the bathroom. Sleep and bodily functions don’t really need High Definition entertainment to go along with. In fact, no bathroom needs electronics of any kind. I am referencing the phone I found in the toilet alcove of my room at the Mandalay Bay Hotel in Las Vegas a number of years back. Likely those are gone by now, since we can all just take our cell phones anywhere we want…

I did find this photo, just to illustrate. My toilet was much nicer, the walls lacked ADA approved railings, and I had 3-ply paper, not the generic industrial brand.

handicap-toilet-phone-wall-handles-help-disabled-use-easier-access-easy-access-to-will-help-case-33229248
dreamstime.com

 

Have you ever participated in a distance walking, swimming, running, or biking event? Tell your story. This gets a big, fat no way, no sir. I might have given a nod to a walking event when my legs could still handle more than short, flat neighborhood outing, but I always hated running ever since a boy in the 2nd grade told me I ran like a girl…well DUH. Bike seats are just plain hell so no way am I sitting on one for any distance.

Complete this sentence: Love is… overrated. Unless it’s grandma love. Then it’s joyful.

Bonus question: Think I’ll skip this one, although I am incredibly grateful for all the sun and warmth we’ve been experiencing here in the last few days.

 

An Unfamiliar Feeling

Sometimes a person, or people, are just supremely wonderful, like beyond words and thank you’s wonderful.

My oldest daughter and her family surprised me with a beautiful spring bouquet of flowers a few days ago. It was delivered to my door and now sits right here, next to me and my computer. The flowers are yellow and cheery and match the sunshine outside. It makes me smile each time I look at it.

My youngest daughter spent two days working out in my yard – edging borders, weeding, raking, even planting some flowers in a front flower bed. The yard looks a million times better, which makes me happy. I smile each time I look out the window.

Sunshine and happiness both inside and out.

It feels good to smile about something for a change.

Share Your World 2016 – Week 12

Share Your World 2016

Wanting something to quench your thirst, what would you drink?

Water splashing into glass
johnstonhealth.org

Water, it would always be water. Nothing quenches my thirst better…however crisp Pinot Grigio or an ice cold beer would do in a pinch.

What made you feel good this past week? Chocolate – candy coated dark chocolate eggs. The bag was at the checkout counter and it just hopped into my cart…

When you’re alone at home, do you wear shoes, socks, slippers, or go barefoot? Until it reaches 75 degrees and stays there consistently along about July 5th I almost always have socks on my feet. I can’t stand cold feet. Plus socks hide so many nasty foot things…dry patches, calluses, fuzz in the toes from all those socks, weird toenails.

Would you rather live where it is always hot or always cold? I know that Cee says we can use our imagination on these questions so I’m going with always hot, and I magically have my younger body back so that I can rock those short shorts and tiny tank tops.

Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up? Skipping this question for the week. It’s been sorta tough and my mood and outlook reflect that, although there was that chocolate…

Conversations

I had a conversation with my dad last night. One-sided, as you might expect, since he left this world almost 21 years ago. I haven’t done that in a long time. I would speak with him often when he first passed, doing all those things one does in the midst of grief and denial and coming to terms with loss.

The ups and downs of my life (if you read my words regularly, you know what this refers to and I have no intention of making this a marriage failure post) bring about these periods of sadness and questioning and the ups and downs have been running at full speed lately. You can always tell when the downs are winning because I don’t write much here. I refuse to, in fact. You are all my friends, but I never want this place to be one where you give a cursory ‘like’ to a post yet can’t bring yourself to read it because it’s another story of indecision and complaining and so on.

So, when I went to bed last night, trying to turn off my brain, and being very unsuccessful (note to DB…I think I sorta borrowed, and adapted, your bedtime routine tactics for elusive sleep) when the self-guided relaxation didn’t work, I decided that I’d ramble and whine a bit with (to) my dad.

He didn’t answer, but he listened and that’s what I expected. I know he can’t tell me what I should do. He might have, at some point when he was alive, but now he just sits patiently and listens. It’s funny how he never ages, always just sits quietly in his faded jeans and plaid flannel shirt, listening.

I miss him, a lot. I’m glad he was free last night, and willing to spend some time with me. Thanks dad.